Kedem Har-ShalomHaving traveled to 49 states and crossed the country by car four times, I’ve become deeply familiar with the diverse regions of the United States. My journeys were driven by a personal mission: to find the best place for an autistic individual like myself to live. What I discovered is that every area has its pros and cons. Unfortunately, no single place can meet all the needs of an autistic person, and society still has progress to make in terms of acceptance. However, certain regions offer more advantages depending on what matters most to the individual and what trade-offs they are willing to make. Below is an overview of different regions, highlighting their strengths and weaknesses, particularly for high-functioning autistic adults who can live largely independently. For those who are less independent, or for children, family support plays a far more significant role than geographic location.
The Northeast
Potential Pros
This region, particularly Southern New England, is known for its intellectual culture. This provides autistic individuals to be near other people with whom they can discuss their esoteric interests and who may be more understanding and interested in similar topics. While the Northeast is often seen as having unfriendly people, its residents are also more direct. They don’t fake interest, which can be helpful for people who may struggle with social cues. The DC area could also be a good place for a detail-oriented person to get a job related to national security.
Potential Cons
However, this area also has bad traffic, poor weather much of the year, the cities can be crowded and overstimulating for an autistic person (even if they have many places to explore), and the people are not the friendliest.
The Midwest and South
Potential Pros
These regions have several advantages. Housing is affordable, with prices remaining stable compared to the rest of the country in recent years. The culture is slower to change, which benefits those who prefer routine. People here tend to be friendly and community-oriented. Donald Triplett, the first person diagnosed with autism, lived in a small Mississippi town until his death at age 89, receiving strong support from his family and community.
Potential Cons
However, community acceptance can be hit or miss, often depending on the support provided by an autistic person’s family. Unfortunately, some parents are more focused on “fixing” their neurodivergent children than accepting them, which can negatively influence the community’s attitude. Additionally, the barriers to acceptance in these regions can be high, so newcomers, especially those unfamiliar with the local culture, should not expect immediate inclusion. The hot summers and severe storms in the South and Midwest can also be difficult for people with autism, particularly those sensitive to sweating or easily startled by weather. Although the region values individualism, its conservative leanings may pose challenges for those who identify outside traditional Middle American norms.
The Intermountain West
Potential Pros
This is the region of the Wild West, which despite technological progress has still maintained much of its frontier days ethos. People here are very live and let live, which is a benefit for autistic individuals who like to do things their own ways without criticism. However, this also means people are not going to be very helpful and expect you to be there for yourself. In some parts of the Intermountain West such as Utah and parts of Idaho, people will be more friendly and helpful, but these are also the more religious Mormon areas and unless you engrain yourself in their culture people will not be so kind to you long term. Furthermore, despite the individualism people in this region proclaim to believe in, people here lean conservative
Potential Cons
Although the region values individualism, its conservative leanings may pose challenges for those who identify outside of the traditional gender/sexual binary or are otherwise don’t align with traditional Middle American norms.
The Pacific Northwest
Potential Pros
This highly progressive region can be a good fit for people with autism, as people here tend to be more understanding of those who don’t fit the Middle American mold. The weather, which is generally cool without being too cold, is also favorable. While summers can be warm, they are rarely uncomfortably hot. There are many job opportunities, particularly in the tech sector around Seattle
Potential Cons
However, the region’s social atmosphere can be challenging. People are often polite, which may seem inviting for autistic people seeking friendship, but the “Seattle Freeze” – a tendency for people to be distant despite initial politeness – can make it hard to form lasting connections. This region is better suited for those who are content with solitude or already have a strong support system in place.
California
Potential Pros
California has much to offer, from pleasant weather and tech companies that actively seek to hire people with autism, to Regional Centers that provide excellent support. The population, while not always the friendliest, tends to be socially inclusive and open-minded. However, the cost of living, particularly housing, is prohibitively high.
Potential Cons
For those with autism who have specific housing needs, such as a quiet environment, this can be especially challenging, compounded by the fact that many autistic individuals, even high-functioning ones, are underemployed or unemployed. While the tech industry has made strides in hiring neurodivergent individuals, other sectors have been slower to embrace this inclusivity.
Alaska
Similar to the Intermountain West, but much colder.
Hawaii
Potential Pros
This can be a paradise. The scenery is beautiful. The aloha spirit means people can be very warm and friendly. Age differences, something that autistic people tend to lean towards in friendships and relationships, seem to carry less stigma here than on the mainland.
Potential Cons
However, the state’s isolation, high cost of living, and humid weather may pose significant challenges.