Disability does not define anyone; resilience does. We are all beautiful beings living under pressure. Resilience shapes us as we arrive on the other side of our best selves. Like diamonds formed under intense pressure, our struggles refine us into something unique and valuable. We are under extreme pressure in life; pressure is all around us and inside us, and it’s how we all become a rare gem.

Pressure is part of our human condition. For me, pressure is a constant part of my daily experience. Living with a chronic condition, I often feel as if I’m moving through life in a daze, struggling to participate fully in all aspects of my existence. Some days, it’s hard to live my life to the fullest. There are days when tasks feel like they require more effort than I have to give. Yet, this is where resilience comes in – the ability to keep going despite the difficulties. It’s in this space of challenge that I’ve found a way to cope and express myself: through music.

Music comes into play in a very significant way in my life. Music has become my refuge, a space where I feel free and alive.  While creating piano compositions, I feel free, but once the music stops, I experience what it is like to be me, struggling. Music works and is so helpful for people with chronic conditions like me because creating is an escape. In the ‘creative and flow mode,’ we use a different part of our brain than in the ‘thinking’ mode. In this state, the struggles of my disability fade into the background, and I feel like myself again, unencumbered and free.

However, the moment the music stops, reality sets back in. My chronic condition reasserts itself, and the pressure returns. The symptoms become more noticeable, not because I’m uninterested in other aspects of my life, but because the part of my brain responsible for thinking and organizing demands more energy than I sometimes have. When tackling left-brain tasks, my chronic physical symptoms become stronger. The increase in my symptoms happens when a task requires a different part of my brain to step up to the challenge, I simply may not have the energy to give to it.

Even though being creative with music helps me, I fully identify with my struggles because of how my chronic condition affects me every second of the day. However, having a disability is only a part of your life, and it is not an identity. I am on a journey to reframe my mind, to believe that the music I focus on defines me and not my disability. One day, I hope to fully embrace the idea that I, like a diamond, will shine bright under pressure. And just like a princess cut jewel, my resilience will shine, reflecting the beauty and strength I’ve found within myself.

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